Adventures of the Pink icecreamgirl*

OH NOOOO I want thisssss!

Watch the catwalk, see the skirt swish around! So nice! Hahaha, sigh.. Why am I broke.

I wonder if the top will look weird in real life… The beige one looks weird. :(

Oh and I didn’t manage to get Autumn. >: (

OMG. I love this la! AHHH.

Hahaha OK ENOUGH. *dies*

I WANT. Hahahahaha.. Ohhhh no. But it’s soooo gorgeousssssssss.

Apple caters to sloths (wireless backups, I am so damn tempted) and those who value aesthetic value = JOJO.

Oh and I said that I’ll update my silly high maintenance wish list!

So here goes!

1. Autumn’s accessories, such as: a mouse, skin, palm guard

2. Time Capsule! Hee hee hee.

3. Vouchers! Don’t worry about coming off as insincere - just attach a nice long letter to it! HAHAHA. I’m serious, by the way. Vouchers to the right places make me very happy! Such as: La Senza / Warehouse / Fox / Topshop / Borders / River Island / Body Shop! :D

4. If you’d like to finance my Uni education, you are more than welcome. Hahaha.

5. Sing to me! Not birthday songs please - I cannot stand having those sung to me. -.- Sing: Everything / You & me / I’m yours. (Ahem, terms and conditions apply HAHA)

6. Write me a long long letter. I loveeeeee letters :D

HOKAY POKES! AUTUMN IS COMING HOME TONIGHT!!!!!!!!! *crosses fingers*

I just spoke with Junyi, after whom Ennui was named!

Ennui says (01:42 PM):
autumn is a pretty name!
but u shd call it Winter
it’s white ma
★ jojo; Orchestrated drama. says (01:43 PM):
hhahaha
i dont like winter
i love autumn
it’s my fav season
her full name
is autumn leaves fall
or fallen
hahahahahahahahahaha
i dont know
Ennui says (01:43 PM):
autumn l. fall
★ jojo; Orchestrated drama. says (01:43 PM):
AAHAHAHHAHA
fall or fallen?
hrm
Ennui says (01:43 PM):
hmm fall
★ jojo; Orchestrated drama. says (01:43 PM):
but i prefer the word fallen
Ennui says (01:43 PM):
why fallen? :(
so sad
★ jojo; Orchestrated drama. says (01:44 PM):
the word doesnt even make sense anymore
hahahaha
Ennui says (01:44 PM):
fallen angel, u noe
fallen leaf
it turned evil
★ jojo; Orchestrated drama. says (01:44 PM):
fallen for you, you know
hahahaha
it’s cuter that way
Ennui says (01:44 PM):
awwwwww
ENNUI DIED!??!
★ jojo; Orchestrated drama. says (01:44 PM):
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
that took you long enough
Ennui says (01:44 PM):
GRAR
i was trying to remember! hahaha
Ennui says (01:45 PM):
then i saw my nick
★ jojo; Orchestrated drama. says (01:45 PM):
LOL!
Ennui says (01:48 PM):
first msg i hear from u in ages, in a fatality in my name sigh
sad
eh get iphone. call it ennui. i want to live on!
★ jojo; Orchestrated drama. says (01:48 PM):
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Hate dreaming.

Hate nightmares even more. Ugh.. They start my day off all wrong.. =/

Anyway, the menus are almost all done up! Have printed them, going to slot them into the folder soon. Please begin appreciating these things when you’re out next time - paper doesn’t get slotted into folders by themselves! Haha.

I’ve also printed out A3 sized photos of the food (on normal paper but what the heck) for framing in the store.. And they look gorgeous when they’re framed! *gush*

Alright, let me gush about my work for abit hokay pokes! This doesn’t happen often; I’m using over-critical of my own works. Heh.

The yellow wall on my left has 3 A3 sized photos, because of errors in printing, haha.. But for now, I like being surrounded by my photos. =P

Took some photos of the pastries yesterday.. Not too happy about how they turned out.. I don’t think they do justice to the cakes themselves, but oh well. I do think the pastries at CA * California rock - they’re ALL made in-house by Calvin our pastry chef! Hee.

Summer Berry Cream Cheese / Walnut Carrot Cake / Hot Fudge Mud Cake / Mango Raspberry

The Mango Raspberry slice! It’s pretty popular, but I’ve never tried it.. Mostly cos I don’t like mango other than the fresh fruit itself. Haha.

The Summer Berry Cream Cheese. It’s a cheesecake that’s popular as well. And I haven’t tried it either.. HAHA, cos contrary to popular belief, I actually don’t like cheesecake much.. Haha.

Sherry Trifle! Pretty special creation, heh.. I’m not too sure what goes in it haha.. There’s red wine though.. I should know.. I toppled the cup when I was taking photos and it oozed out. HAHA.

Whilst waiting for the various dishes to be prepared and ready for me to shoot yesterday, I stood at the entrance of CA, and took photos of the sky.. It wasn’t blue, I just used the wrong white balance to create blue skies since I miss those..

I once told my brother that I prayed for blue skies, because I’d wanted to go out and shoot. He asked why pray for blue skies when I could ask for anything else..”How about green skies??” he asked.

Hahaha, I laughed at him and was very very amused.

Sooo.. DEAR GOD!! Won’t you grant me pink skies????? Hahahahahahahaha. =P

So hey, do drop by The Ranch Home @ Dempsey Hill.. Get good food at Ca * California, awesome ice cream at Ben & Jerry’s.. And check out CA’s newly launched all day menu!!! :D :D :D

My day was angsty and stressful; how was yours?

Thank God for the ten thousand people who have been nagging at me to go home, because even if I am here with tons to do, I know that there are people who care about me. :)

I took photos of some of the new/newer menu items at CA * California today, and am in the middle of doing up the new all-day menu which is going to be launched this Thursday.. Or Friday. -.-

Pizza!! :D

Haha, I still haven’t tried it you know? But it looks and smells really good! The crust is thin; I likey!

The turkey ham & mushroom cream pasta! Haha, it’s good too! Really thick sauce.. Ate 3 mouthfuls and I was erm, full. Hahahahahaha. Like what’s new??

I’m hungryyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok home time. All you ten thousand people can stop nagging me nowwwwwww! Hahahahahaha. K I’m hysterical! HAHAHA. Right.

Good news, bad news.

Thank you, Joe, for reminding me of God’s love, that He’s always there.. that Jesus is there holding my hands, that all of you are there for me.. to support and to care.

To encourage is to use words.
To support is to use actions.
.
.
.
We need BOTH.

My thoughts, emotions and time are split between multiple areas of my life, more than ever before.. & honestly I don’t know how much more I can take.

How did bonds become so fragile? How did values become so fragile? How did family become so fragile? How did life become so fragile?

Through forgotten convictions
Misplaced affections
I’m losing the sound of Your voice
I’ve been chasing after emptiness
Trying to tidy up this mess
I swear I’ve been down this road before
I want to get back to where it all began
When I would long for only You

There’s work, studies, finances, family, life.. What else? I know this is vague and general but I can’t very well help it, can I? I’d love to update without self-censorship but people mean more to me than to hurt them through careless words on my blog.

These are but my own thoughts, and opinions. They are not fact nor are they the cold and hard truth.

How do we draw lines? Lines can be good and bad. Some days we scream and whine about having too many lines drawn for us by community (church or society?). And yet, on the very same days, I see lines that don’t need to be there.. put in place with our very own hands. What’s up?

Like a child I’ll take You at Your word
As these mountains of doubt, they fade away
I’m longing to trust and love You more
So for me this is beautiful
A brand new thought, and a brand new world
Can I stay here forever here with You?

Are things really that shallow? Did I imagine them to far surpass what I am seeing now? Or is this really what it has always been?

I refuse to accept that, you know? Because I trust that my judgment on this is not wrong. It shouldn’t be.. it can’t be. Don’t let it be.. please.

Things have been a whirlwind and I haven’t had the time to drop by the hospital to visit my grandma. Sigh. Hearing from my mum, my grandma seems to be a lot more alert these days.. just her kidney is still not functioning, and she is still critically ill.

I’ve lost sight of what first drew me
To the love that pursued me
The joy that inspired my song
The friendship that was all I knew
The arms that I would fall into
Seem miles and years from where I am today
I got to get back to where it all began
When I would wait for only You

Thank you, really.. for those who came by to visit her. Thank you to those who came from Xue Ling’s wedding to visit and to pray. That made me feel very very loved, much love from the Family. :) Going round praying for other patients was really good too. Heh.

Work has been psychotic, and having Ennui crash was soooo not fun. In fact, it’s made things super inconvenient because of well, stupid issues.

Thanks Sam sam, for coming to me and offering. I love you so so much and I’m really very touched. :)

On a completely different and random (?) note, swearing and clubbing turn me off. -.- So does snoring, but that’s a different story altogether. Haha.

Can I stay here forever
Here with you?
Surrounded by Your mercy
Clothed in Your truth
Always, I’ll stay
Always here with You

It is 6am.

I have been working nonstop since 10.30pm.

My attention span is 3min on a normal basis.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha wellllllll done.

Need sleep.

However, also need to be up in two and a half hours.

Welllllllll done.

Hello lovelies.

Jolene is broke, sad and stressed.

Her birthday is also coming in about a month and 20 days.

Would you like to make her a little happier?

BEHOLD! Endless list of wants in Jolene’s world:

1.

Macbook. This is now a need, no longer a mere want.

———————

2.

dSLR. Possibly the D80, hmmm. & lenses.

———————

3.

The Holga 135!

The gorgeous Holga that used to be made for medium format film (although it can be tweaked to hold 35mm but I will possibly kill myself trying to do that) is now made for 35mm!

I prefer medium format, of course.. but it’s expensive hokay!

———————

4.

Gorgeous green dress from Coast, some off the rack brand at Robinsons. I know, like why green, right? But it’s so pretty! & it’s $300+, heh heh.

(Bob is EVIL! This photo is my display picture on MSN, and he asks me to get it cos he likes it too. Told him the price, and he was like Wahhh. And the conclusion? He says he will get it for his fiance! *faints*)

———————

5.

A holiday in July. Please oh please, I need to get away for abit. REALLY.

———————

Hokaaaay. 5 items. Who says I’m high maintenance? Hahahahaha.

Helloooooooo I forgot how tormenting building websites can get! -.-

Well done.

Having someone play the guitar and sing for me.

It doesn’t matter if the song’s for me, or if it’s praise & worship songs.. But it’s the act of picking up a guitar and playing it, singing at the same time.

P&W songs are best with a simple acoustic guitar, methinks.

At the very least, it brings about a sense of peace and comfort in the midst of all the stupid sobbing and headaches.

So thank you, thank you.. on top of everything you’ve done for me over the past month.. for being there, for being concerned, for taking up your guitar and singing songs I ask for.
Thank you, for being nothing short of the amazing big brother I never had, to this silly kid sister who prances around and eats ice cream with a hole in her mouth resulting in stained tops very often.

Trigger happy at the Botanic Gardens :)

All taken with Zhan’s D70. He’s called Puddles. Yes, I named him. HAHA.

Won’t you come sit with me, watch the world pass us by?

& my favourite shot from the day :)

Comments more than welcome! Hee.

So I’ve not been updating for a number of reasons. Another season of everything happening at the same time. It’s always the case huh?

Zhan says it’s not a surprise that I’m emotionally tired considering everything that’s been happening. In all honesty, I’m surprised that I’ve been holding out til now.

But really, it isn’t me.. it’s really God’s strength and the people around me.

First of all, I want a bear hug. :(

Bear hugs can only be given out by bears! Haha.

Pip is a seal.

Anyways..

Grandma is in hospital. I’ve never been close to her, but that’s not the point. Whether or not I am fond of her isn’t the point as well.

As you stand in a hospital ward (something I hate in itself anyway) and watch her lying there unable to move, swollen because of water retention, struggling to breathe because of infections and water in her lungs, incoherent in her speech patterns because of her illness and the swelling of her tongue, slipping in and out of consciousness, looking pale and weak because of kidney failure and the complications that come with being diabetic.. As you watch her cry and apologise, and then thanking people for various things, it is rather heartbreaking.

& then there’s watching your mum sobbing and speaking encouraging words to your grandma, something she hardly does on a normal daily basis. (Perhaps that’s why I’ve been struggling with her over the past few years but that’s another story. Everyone seems to know I respond to kind words, but ohwell.)

Seeing her like this kills me.. The guilt that she feels shows on her face, the tiredness in her eyes.

I get very heavy hearted everytime I step into the ward. The mood, the helplessness.. The other elderly in the neighbouring beds.

Her condition’s critical as of now; doctor’s said it could be anytime these days.
What did you do on New Year’s Eve? I genuinely am happy for you if you had a blast, partying and getting high. But if you’re sulking over what you had to do on NYE when in actual fact it’s not that big a deal, just get over it and don’t bug me. Because on NYE I got sudden news that she suddenly lapsed into her current state and had little chance of making it through the night.

Things are hanging on a thread with her, but my mum’s praying for a miracle.

In my books, the miracle’s already taken place.

I’ve learnt that when you cannot do anything, and you leave it to God.. when you walk into church for the countdown service (despite being an hour late cos you were at the hospital and then outside the hall, reluctant to be part of festivities), having decided to be ready to dance and sing FOR God, where your praise is lifted up based on your love for God and not your circumstances, things can turn around in a way you don’t expect.

Because they’ve decided on a Christian wake, should anything happen. Without elaboration, this seems simple.. like nothing much. But it means the world to me because of how my family is, how my grandma is not a believer.. how my grandpa isn’t. How my aunt is a super super staunch Buddhist or something or other. How there were no objections when the decision was made by my Grandpa.

Ps William, Pam & Dawn went down to the hospital with me on an hour’s notice on Monday.. New Year’s Day. How did you spend yours?

Thank you so so much, for just being there.. For dropping everything and coming down because I needed you.

Praise the Lord for my grandma’s salvation! :)

She’s resting in the hospital now, and everytime the ringtone assigned to family members ring on my phone, my heart skips a beat and leaps away because I fear picking up the phone would mean the worst.

In the midst of all this, I just thank God for all of you.. For standing by me, for just giving me what I need. I know there is not much you can do, and I really really hope that none of you feel helpless or far away, because the time you have given me, the time you have taken to check on me and the situation.. the time taken to talk to me on the phone about nothing at all, the time taken to go out with me to take my mind off things because I don’t want to go back home.. the time taken to make your presence in my life felt - it’s astounding how much this means to me.

(Yes yes, quality time person.)

Time doesn’t just mean physical presence though. :)

Thank you for taking the time to talk to me.. for putting me to sleep (in the good way okay!) and for waking me up. Heh. :)

*****

Rushing to get my portfolio done has been stressing me too. Fighting the stupid voices in my head that scream YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH takes up energy. Feeling lost and anxious is alarming.

The scholarship that I’d wanted to apply for doesn’t accept the courses I want to take up. After poking around somemore, there was another scholarship that I found.

I pray all this works out, though.

Perhaps this is God’s way of extending my portfolio deadline for the FOURTH TIME. Beautiful in His time, indeed. I now have a couple more weeks to a month more, with this other scholarship’s application dates.

What I don’t know with this scholarship is whether I will go to school in 2008 or 2009. Sigh.. In His time, in His time..

Application ends in April.

Eligible applicants have an interview in July. (I want my holiday lehhh. Bleh.)

Scholarship is awarded in August.

School begins in September.

How does this work out?

Please pray for my finances.. for open doors.. for favour :)

*****

Work’s stressful too, but I’m learning to take it in stride. There’s TP Open House next week, and I’m helping to oversee and plan the stall that’s going to be there.

Am rushing to build up CA * California’s website as well. Hmmmmmmmm.

Ommm.

*****

Unfortunately for me, the symptoms of stress are chest pains and the grinding of my teeth without my noticing it. I’ve been grinding my teeth so much, it’s starting to give me headaches. Right.

Soon I will have no teeth and all I can eat are marshmallows.

My love language’s Food. Please feed me. I am so broke, it’s unbelievable. AND I just remembered that I have yet to pay last month’s phone bill.. So well done, Jolene.. if you thought that you were going to eat grass before, guess again. Now you can just eat sand.

It’s not like my phone bill is cheap. No fault of anyone else other than my own, of course. The current month’s going to be double the usual.. the one that still has half a month left. Maybe it’s December.

December emphasizes distances, I swear.

And then there’s the monthly deduction for the repayment of my poly loan. SIGHHHH.

Things will be okay, I know..

There are times I feel lost, sad, down and upset though.. and thank you all so so much, really.. for understanding that I can’t always be okay.

I don’t know how all these ridiculous conversations start.. But they make me burst out laughing at my computer at work! Muahaha.

HANA:
trust me
i’m a rat
★ jojo:
HAHAHAHA
kelvin says pigeons are rats with wings
hahahahahahah
HANA:
eeewwwwww
★ jojo:
haHAHA
HANA:
wadever gave him dat idea
★ jojo:
he hates them
hahaha
JOE:
haha, no la
they are brainless flying shit machines
★ jojo:
HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
HANA:
mean lo
they so cute
JOE:
fly fly fly, stop to eat, then fly shit fly, then stop on branch and shit again
HANA:
now all of them are congreagating in a corner sobbing
JOE:
they are cute, but shit machines can look very pretty also
HANA:
soon singapore will sink
★ jojo:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH
JOE:
dun worry Hana, they won’t do that
HANA:
cause of all e pigeons tears
thanks to joe
JOE:
hahaha
★ jojo:
hahahaha
i am blogging this
JOE:
wah lau, u ah
blog everything
i think if i fart also, i won’t be able to escape the clutches of your blog

Ok I miss Pip. Hellooooo Pip. Everyone is worried for Pip - my elliefants might all hate him and gang up on him cos I am so blatantly biased. =X